she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
