Slut skills are useful in every country.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
