I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize