So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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