just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
