Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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