the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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