once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
