We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize