she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
