It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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