Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
