I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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