Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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