I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
