the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
