How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
