I look better un-naked...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she told me i tasted like america
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
