I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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