Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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