I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
