Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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