she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am spending my child support on dildos
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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