During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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