Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
