i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
