I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
