Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
