What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
wat bout pragnant strippers??
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
