You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
