My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize