dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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