I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The adults are the big ones right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
