She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
