How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize