I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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