My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
