my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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