I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize