hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
