Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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