I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize