Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
