You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
