What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
