thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm passing your future prison.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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