before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize