Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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