My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dignity is for republicans.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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