Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize