its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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