Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
