I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
