would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
In America we eat man semen.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
