I need help removing her.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
honey bunches of taint.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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