The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
