I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
