..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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