Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
