My liver just broke up with me...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
