She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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