in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
pray to the hookup gods
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
