U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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