Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
