he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
