Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
