So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She's the barista slut.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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