Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize