READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
