I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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