Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
