is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
